My other website (http://www.emilymanning.com) seems to have gotten lost somewhere in cyber-space, so here I am, with a third (and likely futile) attempt at blogging more regularly and with a better focus: to Seek first the Kingdom of God & His righteousness...
I'm finding that seeking His kingdom is less about DOING and more about BEING than I had previously thought. (WARNING: Probably a lot more posts on this subject will follow.)
It's scary, what I might find when I actually do it - when I actually let Christ IN, into the deepest part of my soul. It's where He longs to be, and where we can be in relationship, but it's so frightening. What depth of depravity will He find there? Which parts of me will He command out in His righteousness? What death will take place, and what will be brought to life? Surely I stand to lose something, or lots of things, or... everything.
But then,where did my "everything" come from? And do I have ANYTHING outside of Him?
I hate that I am using U2 lyrics next to the teaching of Jesus, but I hear His words answered and truly emoted in the band's older music...
I'm finding that seeking His kingdom is less about DOING and more about BEING than I had previously thought. (WARNING: Probably a lot more posts on this subject will follow.)
It's scary, what I might find when I actually do it - when I actually let Christ IN, into the deepest part of my soul. It's where He longs to be, and where we can be in relationship, but it's so frightening. What depth of depravity will He find there? Which parts of me will He command out in His righteousness? What death will take place, and what will be brought to life? Surely I stand to lose something, or lots of things, or... everything.
But then,where did my "everything" come from? And do I have ANYTHING outside of Him?
I hate that I am using U2 lyrics next to the teaching of Jesus, but I hear His words answered and truly emoted in the band's older music...
I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground & dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me. Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say? 'Father, save me from this hour'? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour, Father, glorify Your name!
-John 13:24-28-
Bad, by U2
If I could, you know I would
If I could, I would
Let it go...
This desperation
Dislocation
Separation
Condemnation
Revelation
In temptation
Isolation
Desolation
Let it go, And so fade away
To let it go, And so fade away
To let it go, And so to fade away
4 comments:
My mom said she's not surprised I'm a Calvinist. The Covenant really must have indoctrinated me already!
I am glad you have chosen to join this blog world. I feel it to be much more mature than xanga. ;)
I fully intend to check your blog often, with great expectations of profound and beautiful words, inspired by your incredible love for life and Christ.
I, however, will continue to post online quizzes and introductions to my favorite childhood books. :) Love to you!
i, too, am glad you joined the blog world.
have you ever thought of going to seminary?
keep 'em comin'! :)
Melveeta, I think you may be the person least likely to be called immature because you have a xanga... :)
i agree w/ meganbritt, melveeta - you are a mature one. you put the "whoa" in WOman. ;) haha...
forget seminary, i'm going to Second City.
ok, maybe not... but i've thought about seminary. or bible college. or something ministry-related. but i really want a CALLING, and God will give me one when it's time, when I'm ready, if that's what He wants.
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